The Economy is So Bad That

       -I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

        -I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter
        asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

        -CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

        -If the bank returns your check marked  "Insufficient Funds,"
        you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

        -Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

        -McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ounce.

        -Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their
        children's names.

        -A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

        -Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

        -The Mafia is laying off judges.

        -Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

        -Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff
        scandal. Oh Great!!  The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is
        being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

        -And, finally....


       I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars,
        jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I
        called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan,
        and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and
        asked if I could drive a truck!